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A Poll About Anger and Anger Management 
19th-Jan-2011 08:58 pm
Angry Marvin

When a person is angry, is it better for them to vent and get the anger out, or calm down and contain the anger?

Let it out
Calm down and contain it
I don't know
Something else (what?)

People are like teapots. When they get boiling mad, it's better to let off steam. If they try and keep it in they'll explode. Metaphorically speaking, do you agree or disagree?

Strongly agree
Agree somewhat
Neither agree nor disagree
Disagree somewhat
Strongly disagree

If a person openly vents their anger when they get angry, this only serves to reinforce the anger habit and makes one become an angrier person. Agree or disagree?

Strongly agree
Agree somewhat
Neither agree nor disagree
Disagree somewhat
Strongly disagree

When something makes you angry, are you more prone to express your anger or contain it?

Express always or almost always
Express more often than contain it
Half and half
Contain it more often than express it
Contain it always or almost always

What techniques do you use to manage your anger? (Select all that apply)

I never get angry
I let myself express my anger and don't try to control it
Deep breathing or other breathing exercises or techniques
I remove myself from the situation that makes me angry
I say a prayer
I meditate
Alcohol or non-prescribed drugs
I kill them with kindness
I count to 10 (or some other number)
I express my anger with gestures instead of words (e.g. the finger)
A warm bath or shower
Something else (what?)

Have you ever taken an anger management class or course?

Yes (voluntarily)
Yes (I was mandated to do so)
No (but I'd like to)
Something else (what?)
20th-Jan-2011 05:06 am (UTC)
Speaking from experience as a serious bottler-of-feelings, it is definitely important to admit your emotions to the real world in some way, "let it out" so to speak, or risk them rankling within you. However, it is not always beneficial to let them out IMMEDIATELY, and it certainly isn't beneficial to let them out destructively. Don't end up yelling at people or getting in a fistfight. For me the best way to deal with things is to remove myself from the situation, think about what happened, take deep breaths. Maybe journal or rip up some paper. YEAH TAKE THAT, PAPER. Don't just ignore your problems or pretend they never happened, but realize that you can't always fix things instantly.

I answered that I "manage my anger" with medication, but the meds I take are actually for depression, which is a main cause of my tendency to get majorly frustrated and then unsuccessully attempt to stuff my frustration into my insides.
20th-Jan-2011 12:00 pm (UTC)
I'm also a bottler-up, and I agree completely.

To treat my anger I often go for a walk or drive alone with some angry music. Sometimes if I'm at my one job I'll just go out back and scream.
20th-Jan-2011 05:13 am (UTC)
I rarely get so angry that removing myself from the situation and giving it a day or two doesn't solve things. On the rare occasions that this doesn't work, I usually talk to a close friend about what's making me mad, and I write. A lot.

It would probably be better to actually try to solve the problem that's making me angry/talk to whoever's making me angry, but I sort of fear confrontation, so that doesn't usually happen....
20th-Jan-2011 05:24 am (UTC)
I think it's best to vent anger, not by beating up whoever you're angry at obviously, but by writing or talking about it. I say this as someone who chronically bottles up anger... it helps me to at least write about it or vent about it on LJ.
20th-Jan-2011 05:33 am (UTC)
My answers probably make me look like I can't function in polite society, but I do feel like being able to let your anger out is very important (and yes, in society I do just fine :P).

One thing I do for my anger is try to direct it at the situation. Say a person has caused a situation that is inconveniencing me enough to piss me off. 9 times out of 10 this isn't going to be on purpose, and I know this, so rather than explode at them, I tend to flare up about the situation. I don't like to be mad at people; I hate the awkward air.
20th-Jan-2011 05:43 am (UTC)
It's definitely better to get your feelings out, but I don't think this should mean by shouting, stomping around or breaking things. You can leave the area and take deep breaths until you calm down. You can punch a pillow or a punching bag. A long, hot shower or bath can be very calming and help you de-stress.

I do think that showing your anger physically and verbally only adds fuel to the fire and makes the situation worse.
20th-Jan-2011 07:48 am (UTC)
It's best to express anger. Venting to friends or even a private entry on LJ is a good way to relieve anger. Creating, like painting, can be theraputic. Chanting, listening to loud obnoxious music, all of these things allow you to feel the feelings without becoming violent or dangerous.
20th-Jan-2011 07:58 am (UTC)
There is only one person who can make me angry to freak out. apart from that I am quite a not angryable person :p
20th-Jan-2011 11:10 am (UTC)
What techniques do you use to manage your anger?
Something else: chocolate. :P
Also, it's often customers who make me angry, in which case I'll probably wait until later and then slag them off to colleagues and/or family. That's fairly shallow anger, of course. If I'm deeply angry, I get very, very sullen and want to be left alone. If I'm left alone and there's nothing to aggravate my mood, then I can make myself feel better by doing things that relax me - things as simple as lounging on my bed or watching a favourite TV show. In fact, the simpler the better. I take joy in small pleasures. Conversely, aggravation will push me further and further into a sullen mire (even though I'll be trying to veil it, using silence as a substitute for civility) until I either take a powder or, in extreme cases, explode.

Edited at 2011-01-20 11:15 am (UTC)
20th-Jan-2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
I turn it all inwards.:/
20th-Jan-2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
Don't feel bad, you're not alone.
20th-Jan-2011 06:42 pm (UTC)
I generally vent my frustrations to someone else. If I feel validated in my frustrations, I can get over it pretty fast. But I think probably the way people manage anger is different from person to person. :)
20th-Jan-2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
I really, really loved the time when I worked in a hotel and had ready access to the pool after work - shouting out your anger underwater is quite cathartic, and nobody can tell what you're doing because all they see is air bubbles ;)

Nowadays, I tend to bottle it up, because when I get angry, my usual "outlet mechanism" is to cry, and that just adds insult to injury when it happens in the situation that made me angry to begin with.
21st-Jan-2011 02:20 am (UTC)
If a computer or an inanimate makes me angry, i make very spirited, loud, angry noises and gestures. My boss and i both find it entertaining. =) That anger is superficial and not even fully real and doesn't have any lasting implications.

Here's the best way for me to deal with anger toward another person.

First, no matter how angry he or she makes me feel, i do everything in my power not to direct that anger back at the person. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Those words may come from the Bible but it is not necessary to believe in the Bible to understand that wisdom.

After the immediate situation is over and i am free to leave, i do something to take my feelings away from the situation. Something to "disconnect". Playing video games or solving intellectually difficult puzzles works very well for me in that regard. When i can stop playing and ten minutes later not feel angry, i'm ready for the next step.

That's when i can think about what happened and figure out what made me angry and why. If i think about the situation when still holding angry feelings, that will only make me boil over with rage, so disconnecting emotionally is NOT an optional step!

In my analyzing, i usually find that i got angry for dumb reasons. Or that getting angry may have been a perfectly valid reaction, but that i didn't have to and would not have if i thought about things a little differently. It's not very often that i need to talk to the other person about what happened.

I started doing that about a year ago. I don't seem to get angry very much anymore, so it must be doing something for me. =)
22nd-Jan-2011 02:16 am (UTC)
I think it's better to vent to God, then just give it to Him. Works for me. :D
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