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Online privacy 
15th-Oct-2010 12:36 pm
Wolf- Fantastic Mr. Fox
Inspired by this recent CNN article: Internet infidelity: is it time to snoop?

Should people in a marriage or relationship never keep secrets from each other?

Yes; they must share everything.
They should share the important stuff, but not necessarily everything.
No, they deserve the right to privacy and space of their own.
No, most of the past is best left buried.

In an ideal relationship, should the partners give each other their email, Facebook, LJ, etc. passwords?

Yes, because they must never keep secrets.
Yes, just in case of an emergency.
Not unless there is a need to.
No; they deserve the right to some online privacy.

If you are monogamous, is there any reason to be suspicious of the people your partner is friended to online?

Yes; any opposite-sex (or same-sex, as the case may be) friends are cause to suspect cheating.
Only if there are signs of cheating, like flirty Facebook comments.
Not unless you know for a fact they're cheating.
15th-Oct-2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
If something happened to me, I would want whomever was my power of attorney to be able to contact my online friends to let them know what happened, etc. Also, I have massive amounts of important data online that they would need access to. I'm actually in the process of putting together a single document with all passwords, security questions, etc, etc to put in a safe deposit box.
17th-Oct-2010 07:01 pm (UTC)
That actually makes a lot of sense. Another thing people may do is put the passwords in a sealed envelope.
17th-Oct-2010 10:41 pm (UTC)
Although, I will say that on our shared computer (we both have our own computers as well) I never sign out of any accounts or anything.
15th-Oct-2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
I didn't answer the final question, because I think the reality is between the "signs of cheating" and "not unless you know for a fact they're cheating." I don't really think flirty FB comments are "signs of cheating," although they *might* raise suspicions in some cases. Some people habitually flirt with their friends online, and there's no real intent to *do* anything about it.
17th-Oct-2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I once had a relationship with a person whose "friend" left a lot of flirty comments on his blog, and then it turned out he was cheating on me with her. He also explained, "I let my lesbian friends log into my LJ account to flirt with girls" (total BS). Not everybody is a womanizer like him, though.
15th-Oct-2010 11:12 pm (UTC)
Having a handwritten (to avoid keylogging) notebook with important info like passwords, bank PINs, blood type, health care directive paperwork, etc. should be readily available if the other person die or become incapacitated.
16th-Oct-2010 12:20 am (UTC)
I think the answers really depend on the particular couple and what works for them. There are things that i will not tell my boyfriend, and i let him know that, but not one of them have to do with infidelity. Having been in several polyamorous relationships has taught me that he needs to know about other possible romantic interests before they even have a chance to become romantic interests.

By the same token, it will be a cold day in hell when he gets my e-mail or LJ password.
17th-Oct-2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
I've never given out LJ or email passwords to anyone I was dating, or anyone really. My asshole ex gave me his LJ password in the beginning of our relationship because he "didn't want to keep secrets from me," then it turned out he was hiding and lying about a lot anyway, like his chronic womanizing.
16th-Oct-2010 01:42 am (UTC)
Dear poll creator: your Tetris icon fills me with joy.
17th-Oct-2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
16th-Oct-2010 05:52 am (UTC)
Eugh. The fearmongering, conservative, mysoginist attitude of the author of the article made that really hard to read.
17th-Oct-2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
The comments were hard to read too, a lot of suspicious husbands breaking (probably illegally) into their wives' accounts...
17th-Oct-2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to mention that it's really great that you started the last question with "if you are monogamous". Very nice to not just assume everyone is:)
17th-Oct-2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
I know that most people get dazed and confused when someone mentions polyamory, but I've been surrounded by it for some time!
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