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I'm turning 30 and hubby is throwing me a party. This is only my… 
20th-Dec-2009 03:59 am
Lisa Crazy
I'm turning 30 and hubby is throwing me a party. This is only my second birthday party in my whole life. I do not want to open gifts in front of people, I hate it so much. So ...

Would it be too rude of me to bring my presents home before opening as opposed to opening in front of everyone at the party?

Other (please comment)
20th-Dec-2009 10:12 am (UTC)
Do what you want, man. I'm sure if you explain your anxiety about opening gifts in front of people, they'll understand, and if they can't, they're not very good friends, y'know? As long as you thank everyone, I don't see how it could be construed as rude.
20th-Dec-2009 10:18 am (UTC)
I don't think it's rude, I've seen lots of people do this (especially at larger parties, but not always). I wouldn't worry about it.
20th-Dec-2009 11:03 am (UTC)
i actually think it depends on the size. if it's really intimate people might expect it and be disappointed that they won't get to see you opening their gift. i mean, that is part of the fun of giving a gift to someone, because even if they tell you they loved it later it's not the same as that first reaction. AND birthdays are traditionally parties where one opens their gifts during the event (as opposed to, say, weddings). however, if there are going to be a fairly large number of people there you can easily get away with it.
20th-Dec-2009 10:48 pm (UTC)
I agree with this.
20th-Dec-2009 11:07 am (UTC)
It's your party, you make the rules! Like others have said, be sure to thank everyone (which I know you will anyway) and put the gifts away in a safe place. Besides, it could even be interpreted that the gifts are not the important thing; spending time with your guests is, rather than leaping into opening the gifts like there's no tomorrow. If anyone says anything, just say: "I'd rather them open at home, but thank you" :)
23rd-Dec-2009 05:11 am (UTC)
You have some good advice there little missy. :)
20th-Dec-2009 11:47 am (UTC)
No, I don't think it's rude, just say that you would like to keep it til after the party, to give yourself something nice to sit down and relax with.
20th-Dec-2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
Just remember to send out thank-you notes (or call people) if you don't open their gifts in front of them.
20th-Dec-2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't expect the birthday girl to open my gift right there in front of me. I know how uncomfortable that can be.

"Oh, tube socks!"

I like your userpic.
20th-Dec-2009 05:49 pm (UTC)
Personally, I think that's the highlight of a birthday party.. seeing the birthday person open their gifts. I'd be disappointed if I got someone a gift, went to a party, and they didn't even open it. But that's just me.

I guess getting a thank-you card later would help a little... but still.
20th-Dec-2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
It is not rude. However, it creates a potential for rudeness.

People are not bringing you gifts to renew your respective tribes trade agreements, they want to try and give you things they've chosen to show their love and make you happy. The risk comes when or if someone asks you to open them. Depending on a lot of other conditions, that could turn unfortunate.

Honestly, if it's that much an issue, tell the guests "no gifts." Otherwise, I'd suggest getting the gifts out of sight like with a gift table.
20th-Dec-2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
o/~ It's your birthday, and you can go home if you want to o/~

No, seriously... I can understand that opening gifts in front of people can feel awkward, especially if one person got you something that you weren't too keen on, and then the next one you are totally digging on. At least this way, you can avoid all of that and give everyone a fair, private thank you.
20th-Dec-2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
I second the gift table. Be sure to thank everyone for coming and for the gifts. Also, even if you don't normally do so, thank you notes would be much appreciated if you didn't already open the gift in front of them.

How big is the party going to be? <10, and most people will expect gift opening to be part of the occasion. 10< and it'll be more understood.

I feel your pain, though. I hate opening gifts in front of people.
21st-Dec-2009 02:14 am (UTC)
I'd suggest telling people it's a no-gift party and to find another time to do the gift thing with you if it makes you that uncomfortable. Most people don't want to give you a gift and then see you take it home and never get to watch you open it. Telling people to not bring gifts is also a nice way to ease anxiety of others who may not be able to afford to bring you a gift and it be obvious in front of everyone.
21st-Dec-2009 08:07 am (UTC)
I don't think it's rude. Just make sure to send out written thank you notes shortly after the party (after the gifts are open). Make sure you have the address of everyone.

ETA: I also wouldn't explain. Just have a place set aside for the gifts and don't have a big "present opening" thing at the party.

Edited at 2009-12-21 08:10 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I agree with all the people who don't think it's rude. But if it were me, I would later send them an email (phone call? love letter? manifesto?) to tell them thank you. :)

Happy early birthday! Thirty is the best. :)
23rd-Dec-2009 05:11 am (UTC)
Thank you so much and look! a happy birthday icon and everything! ♥
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