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Does anyone talk about me? 
24th-Nov-2009 01:11 pm
Real life Tree
I have a co-worker in my department/section at work who is constanly asking me if people are making remarks about him, always asking me what I think of his work, etc. When I say I haven't heard anything he'll get a rejected look in his eyes and remark with something such as "Not even anything good? I hear people say nice things about you." If it only happened every once in awhile I'd ignore it, but I swear it happens every day I see him. Alot of people don't really like him, I think he's a decent worker, however I don't think it's my place to tell him all of this because all I would be doing is spreading gossip.



If a coworker or classmate or someone else asks you constantly if people are talking about them you would...

Ignore them and not say anything one way or the other
11(18.3%)
Only tell them the good things you have heard
9(15.0%)
Only tell them the bad things you have heard
1(1.7%)
Tell them everything you have heard
2(3.3%)
Ask they stop questioning you
7(11.7%)
Demand they stop questioning you
0(0.0%)
Go to a supervisor and explain the sitution
0(0.0%)
Something else
9(15.0%)

How important is that people like you and the work you do? yes I know it depends on the job and the people, but try to pick one

Extremly
4(6.5%)
Alot
20(32.3%)
Somewhat
29(46.8%)
A bit
7(11.3%)
None at all
2(3.2%)
Comments 
24th-Nov-2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
I think I would just say, "No one has said anything but if they do, I'll let you know." then walk off. If it continued after that I'd tell the person that I have work to do and my work doesn't involve gossip and to please drop it.
24th-Nov-2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
While it is important to me that people think I'm trying hard and a good citizen of the office, I have never asked anyone except for my direct supervisor for feedback about how I am doing. I don't really think it matters if people like the guy personally -- just if he's doing the job he is being paid to do, right?

I would be avoiding that guy like the swine flu if I were in your shoes!
4th-Dec-2009 08:46 pm (UTC)
I agree. The only opinion that matters is that of the supervisors. Anyone else can mind their own business.
24th-Nov-2009 06:48 pm (UTC)
I care more about what people (i.e. professors or employers) think about my work, than what other people (fellow students, coworkers) think of me personally. I know some great people who have terrible work ethics, and I know some great artists that are total assholes. It goes both ways. I figure that if my work is good, that's what will carry me through. People will come and go and think what they want, but my skills and work ethic will stick with me.
24th-Nov-2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
It depends on how well I know the person, but in answering the question, I assumed I don't really know them and/or they're not a friend of mine. So, at first, I'd ask they stop questioning me. If they didn't, I'd demand it. Failing that, I'd either talk to a supervisor or tell them all the bad things I've heard about them and tag a "happy now?!" at the end of it.

As for whether it matters how much people like me or my work, I don't really care as I don't have a job. If I did, I would be a writer, in which case it still wouldn't matter because I would be writing for myself.
24th-Nov-2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
The funny thing is that the answer matters less about who was asking or whether it was negative or positive, and more about a) who was talking, b) what context I heard the comment, and c) how I felt about the comment.
24th-Nov-2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
For question #1, i could see myself telling him i feel that would be spreading gossip, and that i'm not comfortable with him eliciting that from me. But in the interest of being personable, i would have to be in a truly rotten mood to say anything like that.

More likely, i could see myself asking my co-worker what's got him feeling so self conscious, and go from there.
25th-Nov-2009 12:58 am (UTC)
Honestly I'd ignore them for as long as possible, but after a while I might be tempted to say that I haven't heard any complaints, but that I'm not always around so I wouldn't really know.

As for my self-worth? I think of it as a perk, I hate my job but if the people there commend me on it it makes it all the much better.
25th-Nov-2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
I'd tell the guy "No, I haven't heard anyone talking about you but if you carry on like this they WILL." If he carried on, this would seriously freak me out, as he sounds unhinged.

Myself, yes, I like to be appreciated and like people to recognise what I do, but I could never get like this guy! For a start, it's making oneself stand out.

I hope you're able to sort the situation for yourself.
25th-Nov-2009 08:54 pm (UTC)
It seems pretty obvious that the poor man is in need of some kind of affirmation or is worried about something. Couldn't you say something encouraging to him?
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