celadon lord of missed boats (lord_cellytron) wrote in polloftheday,
celadon lord of missed boats
lord_cellytron
polloftheday

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I can do the same number of push-ups I could in high school: none!

It's getting toward that time of year when we're going to start seeing three times the number of weight loss commercials on TV. We're going to start seeing billboards advocating "healthy choices" and we're going to start hearing ten minute long diatribes on talk radio about how the couch-shaped sports guy just lost 37 pounds and YOU CAN TOO!

So, just a few questions about how "out of shape" we all REALLY are. Pff.




Poll #1106694 Don't get all bent out of shape!

Do you consider yourself to be "out of shape" right now?

Please! I've never been "in shape"! I had to buy a bigger house just to have room for all my junk food!
11(11.6%)
Yes.
52(54.7%)
Maybe a little.
26(27.4%)
No.
6(6.3%)
Absolutely not! I'm Jack LaLanne on steroids! If Michaelangelo were alive today, he'd have made a statue out of ME!
0(0.0%)

Alright, assuming you're out of shape, do you like it?

Yeah! I don't have to worry about "keeping my figure", and I laugh in the faces of people eating salads and jogging.
2(2.2%)
I don't really care. There's nothing I need to be "in shape" for.
17(18.3%)
I don't think I'm that out of shape, so I'm not too worried.
20(21.5%)
No, I don't like it. I need to exercise more and eat better.
51(54.8%)
I'm not out of shape. I've never been out of shape!
3(3.2%)

So... are you in denial?

What's there to deny? I'm out of shape. I eat more fats, sugars and carbohydrates per day than my body should be able to process. I drive out to the mailbox to get my mail! I'm out of shape! Deal with it!
19(20.7%)
I don't think so.
53(57.6%)
Maybe...
7(7.6%)
Possibly...
11(12.0%)
Denial?! There's no denying this six pack! There's no denying the two minute mile I ran through the snow this morning! Excuse me, it's time for my raw egg shake!
2(2.2%)

Do you try to pretend like you're in perfect shape? For example, do you pretend to cough when you're out of breath?

Not a chance.
38(40.9%)
Oh... yeah. I have done that. I also keep running magazines on my coffee table when I have people over.
0(0.0%)
Maybe once or twice...
25(26.9%)
Of course not!
28(30.1%)
The only time I was ever out of breath was when I scaled Everest! Ha! I'll breathe when I'm dead, that's what I say!
2(2.2%)

Okay, seriously. Is America dealing with a health crisis due to obesity?

Get serious. The real "crisis" is the fact that Valerie Bertinelli needs a new yacht. They're playing to your insecurities. Your body is yours to do with as you please.
14(14.9%)
I don't know. Times are different. Humans are evolving with the changing times.
10(10.6%)
No opinion.
11(11.7%)
Probably.
33(35.1%)
Of course!
26(27.7%)

God, now I want some Cheetos.

You're not getting any of mine!
6(6.5%)
So have some. Big whoop. And some Coke, too.
41(44.1%)
So do I.
21(22.6%)
Do you know what's IN those?!
17(18.3%)
You go ahead. I'm perfectly happy with my edamame, tofu and ginseng.
8(8.6%)
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