Kenneth (kensmind) wrote in polloftheday,
Kenneth
kensmind
polloftheday

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And now for something completely different


Poll #987779 Nuckin Futz

Forrest Gump said that "life is like a box of chocolates." Your life is like a box of _________

Guacamole dip
9(9.2%)
Dung beetle dung
2(2.0%)
Cement
4(4.1%)
Smaller boxes
45(45.9%)
Chocolates, but with weird flavours like liver and onions, turnips, and cod liver oil
13(13.3%)
Silly hats
12(12.2%)
Letters from Dr. Laura and Dear Abby, except that they're asking you for advice
6(6.1%)
Porn
2(2.0%)
Bad gas
3(3.1%)
Other (tell us what!)
2(2.0%)

For the woman he loved, Vincent Van Gough cut off his ear. For the one you love, you'd cut off your ___________

Cable
22(22.7%)
Sociology professor in mid-sentence
16(16.5%)
Dangly bits
0(0.0%)
Dangling participles
11(11.3%)
Mother in traffic
23(23.7%)
Lusty correspondence with Katey Couric
4(4.1%)
Pipeline that supplies you with nude pictures of Kathy Bates and Dick Cheney
7(7.2%)
ties, neckties, even the ones with cartoon characters on them
7(7.2%)
Johnson (that bust of Lyndon Johnson that you have on your desk)
3(3.1%)
Other (can't what to hear what you're cutting off)
4(4.1%)

Polonius advised Hamlet: "neither a borrower nor a lender be." Your advice to your nephew is:

Neither a gorilla proctologist nor an elephant urologist be
13(13.7%)
Neither a Shriner nor a Kiwanian be
4(4.2%)
Neither a cosmetologist not a census taker be
4(4.2%)
Don't take any wooden nickels
15(15.8%)
For a good time call 555-6969 and ask for Ruby (who's also known as Ralph)
11(11.6%)
When buying underwear, get the kind with extra room in the crotch
11(11.6%)
When breaking wind in an elevator quickly blame the person closest to you
9(9.5%)
Spring forward, fall back
19(20.0%)
Always make sure your boss is taller than you; it's easier to kiss his ass that way
5(5.3%)
Other: share your advice with the rest of us
4(4.2%)

The poll was

Fun
12(12.4%)
A nice diversion
35(36.1%)
A complete waste of my time. Thanks, that's two minutes of my life that I'll never get back!
8(8.2%)
A strong indicator of it's creator's mental illness
13(13.4%)
All of the above
29(29.9%)
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